Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dork, party of one?

My family and I have decided to give up cable for the YMCA.  I'd like to say that we are turning in our bad bodies for hard bodies, but the truth is, we found Netflix.  With all the money we've wasted on cable that we no longer watch, we thought we'd get some much needed exercise.  I'm a yoga lover,  but I thought I'd branch out and try a ZUMBA class yesterday.  Are you laughing?  As you should be. 

Who knew I was the world's worst Latin dancer!?  I went to an "intro" class that was anything but "intro."  The only instruction I was given was by the lady to my left who said "Just don't look at yourself in the mirror."    WHAT??   Judging by the looks of the women around me, I thought, "piece of cake", until the music began and I realized I had just entered Salsa Hell.  The hips on these women!  The skills!  No matter what step they took, my body did the opposite.  It was undoubtedly one of my most embarrassing moments.  Oh yeah, a whole hour of moments! I just kept telling myself, "just keep smiling, just keep smiling".  If anything, at least I could look like I was having a great time.  The squirrels in my head kept telling me I was a complete fool; that I should meringue my way out the door...... if I only knew how to meringue.

Then the thought occurred to me.....  Every class has a beginner.  Every class has that one chic who you  compare yourself to and think "well, at least I'm not that bad....poor girl".   And I realized I had a place.  I actually belonged where I was.   "Just keep smiling, just keep smiling......maybe someone will be impressed by my bravery.  Just keep smiling....." 

And when it was all over, I was still alive.  No one was laughing.  In fact a few of them came up to me and said "you have to come back! You will love it".  The last time I listened to people tell me to "keep coming back", it saved my life.  So I added a splash of humility when I told them how great I did on the stretching exercise, got some laughs, and then out of my mouth (on it's own) flew "I'll come back. I won't give up."

I learned some great lessons...
1. Fat women can dance.
2. Smile when you don't want to.  It's guaranteed to help you get through it.
3. Never give up, you won't die.
4. There's a nut for every wrench. (and a dork for every class).
5. If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.

Old timers tell me to give everything 6 tries before making up my mind.  I'll go back for 5 more shots to the ego.  I can handle it.  I bet I'll make some friends and who knows, I might actually learn how to dance.  Yes, the odds are against me, but even flailing like a nut job still burns calories.

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